Standing in the dock at Southampton
Trying to get to Holland or France.
The man in the mac said you've got to go back,
You know they didn't even give us a chance.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going,
They're going to crucify me.

Finally made the plane into Paris,
Honeymooning down by the Seine.
Peter Brown called to say,
You can make it OK,
You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going,
They're going to crucify me.

Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton,
Talking in our beds for a week.
The newspapers said, say what're you doing in bed,
I said we're only trying to get us some peace.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going,
They're going to crucify me.

Saving up your money for a rainy day,
Giving all your clothes to charity.
Last night the wife said,
Oh boy, when you're dead you don't take nothing with you but your soul
Think!

Made a lightning trip to Vienna,
Eating chocolate cake in a bag.
The newspapers said,
She's gone to his head,
They look just like two Gurus in drag.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going,
They're going to crucify me.

Caught the early plane back to London,
Fifty acorns tied in a sack.
The men from the press said we wish you success,
It's good to have the both of you back.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going,
They're going to crucify me.